Text adventure games: from the front lines to behind the scenes

Posted by Howard Sherman.
First posted on 18 August 2006. Last updated on 26 July 2010.
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When you fire up a video game of any kind you more or less know what you're in for. But when you take your first step into the magical world of an adventure game, any adventure game either textual or graphical, there's no telling what'll happen next. Where video games are predictable and adhere tightly to the theme of the game, adventure games tantalize the adventurer with seemingly endless…

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Canada By Slim • On 20 August 2006 • From Somewhere

Excellent

It's time to set the record straight....again.

Once again I am here to clean up the mess you "drive by" critics leave behind. I will never yield to your mountains of lies, deceit and evil manipulations no matter how much vitriol you spew forth.

So you may as well quit now and go away.

God knows that I never will.

The people have spoken. The sad truth is that you all just don't want to listen to what they have been saying over the past several years.

Many people tried all the free games out there and quickly turned their back on them.

Those same people end up buying Malinche games.

I write games that people enjoy. Titles that entertain and tantalize.

I write what sells. Every good author does.

It's a sad to see the failings of the free community in producing games people just don't like.

The amateur movement and Malinche are two distant, yet similar, tribes.

We both do whatever we can to further the interactive fiction movement.

The difference is that Malinche publishes adventure games people actually enjoy.

The collective failure of the amateur movement to deliver games that entertain the world is responsible for Malinche's existance.

Before I forget --- thank you.

That's why Malinche has moved over 150,000 copies of our games since we started.

Statistically, my games with distribution of 150,000+ dwarfs the collective efforts of the entire amateur movement.

Malinche's staff numbers less than 10. The estimated population of the amateur community at large is shy of 500.

In terms of manpower the amateur movemnt has 50 TIMES the resources of Malinche.

Yet Malinche's performance in delivering enjoyable advenutre games is unequalled.

Now I'll drive the point home even more -- Malinche's customer database on any ONE of the titles we sell is far larger than the entire population of the entire amateur/free movement.

Do you critics still feel powerful over there hiding behind your keyboards?

You poor cretins bang the same tired drum and mouth the same inacurrate information time and time again. Unlike the lot of you I will elaborate and substantiate.

I never "hide" the fact I use Inform. Or the Onyx Ring libraries. Or anything else. Evidence of this is all over the Malinche website, in every game I've written and it has been this year since Malinche's humble origins.

I am only too glad to give credit where credit is due to all the hard working people that keep the engines of interactive fiction humming along.

In fact -- the license agreements of both Inform and the Onyx Ring libraries REQUIRE that me and Malinche to give full credit.

And we do. So your complaint is summarily dismissed for being unfounded, inaccurate and just plain false.

God bless Graham Nelson. All hail Jim Fisher.

There. Even more credit. Which those two men so rightly deserve.

Inform 6 and the OnyxRing libraries are right up there along side fire as among the major breakthroughs that have served humanity.

The printing press, the computer and the iPod get honorable mention. Ok, while I'm in a generous mood I'll include cell phones too. And toaster ovens.

And, oh yes, air conditioning. And elevators. And airplanes. And, OK, alochol.

But Inform and OnyxRing is first in my eyes. I'd rather walk a flight of stairs or eat untoasted bread or drive to California than do without Inform 6 or the OnyxRing libraries.

Conspiracy theory nuts won't find any black helicopters hovering over the Malinche offices or "Men in Black" hanging out in our reception area. We never have and never will cover up the truth.

Back to the quality of my work ---

If my games really and truly didn't stand up to the free games out there then how can it be that Malinche even exists now -- almost four years after we started?

Further -- Why would Malinche offer a 60 day money back guarantee on every game we sell? NOBODY in the industry has ANY kind of return policy. I back up every game I write with a TWO MONTH unconditional satisfaction guarantee.

Try and return a game you didn't like to any software retailer -- online or offline. They'll laugh at the attempt.

In a nutshell -- Malinche would be bankrupt if the adventure games I write were nothing less than astonishing.

We're making more money than ever because the entire Malinche team works tirelessly -- full tilt -- to deliver the very best adventure games on the planet.

I can back that up with even more proof. I can prove every point I make while you poor souls have nothing but your empty, meaningless words to carry you.

Visit the Malinche website and see what people have said about the free games out there.

In some cases the free games of the amateur community INSPIRED them to purchase Malinche's interactive fiction and experience the difference that quality, professional interactive fiction delivers.

While you're there you can plainly see what the world is saying about Malinche's interactive fiction.

Critics can read the dozens of testimonials and weep.

True adventure game fans will be overjoyed.

The spirit of Infocom lives on -- with Malinche.

And, yes, I am the last of my kind. I am the only Implementor still standing.

Peter Nepstead's 1893 is a single title he wrote three or so years ago. There is no second title or any announcement of one. For lack of evidence he is retired.

Future Coffee's futureboy, now two years old, has no sequel or any other second title planned or announced. Ditto retired.

They're gone. They are has beens. All done. "Done cooking" as we chefs say.

I have seven titles out and two more scheduled for release in December 2006.

By the evidence of the facts I am the last Implementor still active upon the earth.

I know facts are alien things to the IF critics out there but, alas, I'll wield the facts and strike down the deceptions every time.

And I shall not tire. I will not waver. I will persevere and continue to create to the betterment of the literate world.

Signed,

Grandmaster Howard Sherman
The Last Implementor
Malinche Entertainment

United States By Grandmaster Howard Sherman • On 20 August 2006 • From Las Vegas, USA

Poor

That picture looks like you are passing gas... perhaps an indication of how you create your 'text-adventures', too.

Canada By Slim • On 19 August 2006 • From Somewhere

Poor

I find it hard to believe ACG is so hard up for quality content that they publish Howard Sherman's tedious, self-aggrandizing hype. His "last of the implementors" spiel was never accurate, and his continued promulgation of this claim is a sign either of extraordinary slow-wittedness or dishonesty. He knows about Peter Nepstad's moderately successful work "1893: A World's Fair Mystery" and General Coffee Productions' "Future Boy!", as well as the massive wealth of free interactive fiction provided through the interactive fiction archive and particularly through the annual Interactive Fiction Competition, but would rather present himself as the lone surviving artist in a medium no others dare work in.

This is not only inaccurate but is an insult to the community which created the tools Howard uses (Inform 6, among others). People (not me, for the most part, but not Howard either) are still involved in the creation of fine IF and the extension of IF as a craft. Neither Howard's eulogistic writings nor his mediocre games are representative of modern IF, and both he and ACG should be ashamed of themselves for presenting them as if they were.

(I tried to post this about a day ago and was not permitted -- others have pointed out that it's the inclusion of URLs that forbade it. Thanks for the ever-so-helpful error-message, ACG. For readers who care where all the above-mentioned resources are, google searches should turn up most of them fairly quickly)

United States By Jake Wildstrom • On 19 August 2006 • From La Jolla, California, USA

Poor

Wow, got ego?

There are better authors releasing games for free. Check it out. Ah, it wont let me post urls, of course. But the writer below has written about the IF wiki. Check it out if you're interested.

Australia By Taz • On 19 August 2006 • From Outback Australia

Poor

Howard somehow neglected to mention that literally thousands of IF games have been written and made available for free since the demise of Infocom and other such companies. (Many have used Inform, the same programming language Howard uses; Inform was written by an Oxford don named Graham Nelson, whom Howard doesn't see fit to credit.) Much of the freely available IF is far better than Howard's.

This comment interface doesn't, unfortunately, let me post URLs. But google "Baf's Guide" and you'll get a front-end to the archive that holds most freeware IF, complete with capsule reviews, star ratings, and links for downloads; google "SPAG" and you'll get a site of in-depth reviews of good freeware IF; google "Interactive Fiction Ratings" and you'll get a site that compiles ratings of and brief comments on freeware IF; and google "IF Wiki" and you'll get a clearinghouse of IF information.

And by the way, ACG: Howard has a site of his own. He can self-promote there. Why are you giving him space to flatter himself?

United States By Thrax • On 18 August 2006 • From Vienna, VA, USA

Poor

So nobody else writes interactive fiction for free do they Sherman? So your the last of the implementors eh? no props to Graham for Inform or anything or that most of the entries in the annual IFComp are better than our 'commercial' games?

This article is garbage.

United States By Adrianne Ledoux • On 18 August 2006 • From Marseille
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